In the eternal words of Kevin Federline's greasy trucker hat:

"Rock out with your cock out."

These are words to live by friends. Heed them well.

Is it sad that I find Alan Cummings attractive? Wait let me look it up on Google. Nope he has a fanlisting. I'm in the clear.

So I had a job interview at Blockbuster today. The guy interviewing me said I did "excellent". What I think he meant was my tits looked "excellent" in this top.

Wow a Update!

Yeah so I'm actually updating this thing. Figured all the little people would want to know what was going on with me. And that would be uh nothing at all. So there you have it. Enjoy it.

............

Fun Fun For Everyone

Yeah my life is actually not sucking so much right now. It's really quite amazing. And when my life sucks I write a lot. But when it doesn't I really don't write that much. So I really won't be updating this thing until my life takes a sudden turn for the worst. Which it won't if God loves me. But he doesn't. For He (or She) is a vengeful God bent on destruction. The destruction of Megan's life. What fun!

//Megan

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

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This is in Bold

Oh who doesn't love the antics of Spongebob Squarepants? And the fact that their making a movie is doubly delicious. Yum Yum. Well I found out I'm pregnant. Yeah with the re-incarnation of Christ. Well no not really. But if it was true it would provide a good topic for conversation. "Yeah so did you hear I'm carrying the next Christ?" Good times had for everyone. I really hope that someone's heart gave out after the "Well I found out I'm pregnant" before thy went on to read "Yeah with the re-incarnation of Christ". Also good times had for everyone.

//Megan

Obese kids more likely to bully, be bullied

Does that make any sense whatsoever? Whos cares if a couple of fatties bully themselves? Personally being fat is not one of my problems and I have not met one single fat person who wasn't a complete bitch or asshole. It's like yes we all know you have low self-esteem cuz your ass hangs out your shorts and people scream when they see you in a bathing suit but you don't have to go and take it out on the rest of the population. Get off your fat ass and MOVE AROUND! You know I lost 10 pounds and I didn't even need to. I wonder why? Hmm oh maybe it was because I JUST DIDN'T FUCKING EAT?! Try not eating so much fucking junk food and McDonalds! Maybe then you'll lose some weight. Ya fucking fatty.

//Megan

I Am A Freakish Weirdo

One of my many interesting conversations with myself while Nathan was getting coffee.

azurefiregodess: maybe i should write erotic literature for a living
azurefiregodess: that'd be an interesting thing to tell my guidance counsler
azurefiregodess: yes can you suggest any good colleges for erotic literature? wonder what she'd say
azurefiregodess: ok i'll stop now
azurefiregodess: so timmy what does your mom do for a living? she writes erotic literature
azurefiregodess: imagine that career day
azurefiregodess: ok i'll really stop now
azurefiregodess: so kids if you try hard and do well in school you too can have your stories published in penthouse forum
azurefiregodess: ok i'll really actually stop now

And then I really did stop.

//Megan

Ew Ew Fucking EW

Hmm OK so I read an article about all these underage girls who take photos of themselves (not naked mind you) and make old pervy men pay to see it. How fucking gross is that? There's even one with an 11 year old girl. Fucking gross! I don't care if their naked or not the photos are meant to excite you so you'll pay the stupid money. We all like money. But you don't have to start selling your body when your 11 years old. At least wait until your 18 to fuck up your life.

//Megan

Haiku

I love writing haikus for some reason. They rock.

Missing parts of heart
Assembly required for some
Not for kids under 10

Ahh yes I'm a dork. Well we already knew that.

//Megan

Shhhh

I really hate the kids I go to school with. There are a few exceptions but on the whole I want them all to burn in hell. I just can't understand how stupid some people can be. Yes let us waste our lives away with drugs so that we can die of an overdose before we turn 25. Or let us be sluts and flirt with every guy in school because I'm a fucking stupid whore who already has a boyfriend when other people who are so much more deserving don't. God I just can't stand it! The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'm 10x better then pretty much everyone there. I can only wait for the day when I can say goodbye to all of that and just say fuck it. Just give them the middle finger and tell them to shove it up their ass and move on.

Yeah that'll be a good day.

//Megan

My Dad Is Funny

So today I was sitting in the car with my Dad listening to him rant about Rush Limbaugh and his twisted black soul and blah blah blah when all of a sudden we get onto the topic of religion. And then he declares he's going to go on a spirtual journey to find himself this summer. This scares me. People who go on spirtual journeys tend to scare me. I just hope he doesn't end up going to Tibet and hanging out with Buddhist monks all summer. Actually I hope he does and takes me with him. That would rock. Go Buddhism!!

//Megan
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Look I changed how I sign my name! Spiffy!

I Hate People

Yeah that's all I really have to say. Enjoy my nugget of wisdom.

-- Megan

Gone....

Urghh

I just can't stand it here anymore. I feel like this country is slowly sucking my soul out. I'm getting the hell out of here if it's the last thing I do. I'm just going to end up going to college in Canada or Europe, I can't stay here any longer. I feel like if I do I'll be buried in a conservative landslide.

-- Megan

HAAAA!

I got a car! I got a car! Whoop whoop I got a car! Now all I need is a licence. Hmm yes that could turn out to be tricksey. But it doesn't matter. Know why? Cuz I got a car! I got a car!

-- Megan

P.S - I got a car! I got a car!

Gnarly

Bet you didn't know that was spelt with a g did ya? Anyways I just wanted to make a note of something.

Tattoo's I Want:

1. Calvin and Hobbes on the bottom of my back or the top
2. One of the My Little Ponies on the bottom of my back or the top
3. Carebear on my ankle
4. Snow White (not sure where yet)
5. Geisha (not sure where yet either)
6. Some type of Lord of the Rings thing

And don't go telling me that I'm going to regret it. I hate when people say that. By the time I actually get it done and I still want it then I'm not going to regret it.

-- Megan

Baby Boom

Well today Harriet brought her baby daughter to school today. I was sitting there holding the baby and she looked up at me and I realized something. The whole accumulation of my life is leading up to the day I have one of these of my own. Everything I do up until then will be insignificant compared to that moment. It's a scary thought but true. My mothering instincts went into super overdrive holding that baby. It's strange to be able to just know what to do with a child. Maybe that's why women are such an enigma to men.

-- Megan

PS- Yes I'm home.